Sometmes I can feel how the time passes by and I'm... scared.. of what I'm becoming.
I promiced myself to be never afraid of the changes.

But.

Oh... How I want to be free and lively, not so pale, not so stressed out. I want to love life, but I feel like I'm just not interested in anything what goes around.

Like I'm half asleep. Like everything around is not real and is not happening with me, but with somebody else.
It's been long, scince I was crying.

I'm emotionless.
And I hate it.

The worst is - I'm forgetting my best friends. I can feel I'm loosing them and can do nothing to stop it.

A-ah. Pathetic.

Ahhh... Eventually! I've taken my last exam before autumn holidays!
I was really nervous today... Because.. It was the medicine practice exam! T_T Well, you now, about the first aid, bandages and so on. Now I'm low ranked nurse (well, I can work, cause now I have the sertificate) so I can get rid of the summer practice if I enter the academy.
I'm so glad it's over. I though I might die, my hands were shaking and my voice was trembling... Aww. That's over. Calm down now...

I want a break, really. I'm so tired from everything. T_T
I just want to seat at home, peacefully, and play my recently downloaded Yo-jin-bo otome game with my friend (anyone played? the game is just awesome!)
Oh, now as I think about it, the majority of my watchers (who really watch my art and journal) are guys... Huh, maybe that's so stupid of me to speak about anime games for girls, where you try to get the good romance ending with some kawaii bishounen. Anyway, Ittosai was my fav.! I don't know why I fall so much for scary sociopaths.

Hm.. I think, I find these games better than reality itself, just because of the world we live in. I can't really believe, that someday something woderful (like love) can happen to me. >.< maybe because I've never met normal guys.


One man keeps stalking me, saying rude things to me, because I rejected him. That's the pain, agrrh.. Well, how can I say "yes" to the guy, who doesn't even respect me as a human thing? I have my pride. That's why I'll always be alone.

Uhh.. Well, I haven't written anything in this journal in a while. Sorry.

The true autumn has started finally! I'm just in love with this golden-bed-brown-warm colors and shiny days! My school is making me really depressed, so much to do, and I don't want to do anything at all. I'm just a sleepy zombie. T_T

Oh, and I caught a feature thing from
just put the name here of your any piece and i will feature you here.
BTW you have to do the same on your journal ^^
I want to be active on DA in some way..

The second is:
You can ask me three questions, wich I promice to answer. About.. just anything.

I'll be glad to see you here in my journal.

I'm crazy.
Just great! Another stupid dream has occupied my mind.
I want to create a visual novel (otome game)!!!
But I suck in programming! All these codes and so on...
I'm shure I could design characters and CG, and my friend will perfectly write the story plot and dialogues...
But this will take so much time! I don't have this treasure! My school starts and then.. goodbye my freedom! Goodbye my dreams!

Stupid programming matters! ><

Aww... Now I finally managed to update my journal!

What's new in my life?

That's great, my summer holidays finally started. I'm so happy about it, just the words are not enough to express how. Finally sleep, friendship, books and music. And drawings-drawings-drawings.
I have so many new things to draw!
--> My happy sweet 17 are coming, one more year and I'll be free independent adult. >< God, I've never thought I'll be so old one day. *_*

Books
I'm really-really in love with Max Frei books, they are just so awesome!
I know, the books are not translated into other languages, they are only in russian, but I hope, in the not too distant future you'll have the oppotunity to read them.
I tell this, because I cannot be scielent, I need to share this with you.

Description
Max Frei is the fictional narrator of ten Russian fantasy novels which make up the series called The Labyrinths of Eho.
The books desribe how Max, born in our world and having lived his first 30 years here, ends up in the city of Eho in another world, having been called there by the great mage and chief of the Secret Police, Juffin Halli. As Max gets acquainted with his new world, he discovers that he was called to Eho to be Juffin's Night Face, i.e. be his representative and second-in-command during the night shift.
Various adventures follow Max, and he always gets inadvertently involved, usually in the midst of things. Fate likes him, and everything happens for a reason. He discovers that he can do magic, more so than the other people he works with. He is special, and no one lets him forget it for a second. His life as described in the novels is full of serendipity and fateful encounters and events, and the books themselves are highly philosophical while being written as fantasy-comedy.

Club
Joined the
That's the fan-club of a HERO ([link]) wonderful colored manga.
HERO is a story about a perfectly ordinary boy with no memory of the past and no urgency for the future; who one day accepts a most extraordinary offer to travel to distant places and invisible cities.

So, if you are interested in a wonderful art, don't be lasy and visit the page, there's a chance you'll like it too.

Summer Plans
Well it's summer anyways, my dear friends! I have to go on summer vacations and leave DA for a while.
We are going on a river-boat trip for two weeks with my class again! Last year I did it too, that was just awesome!

The adventure begins! It's really awesome, I can't wait no longer... I think it will be much more fun, than the last year's.
Unfortunatelly I'll have only two days in Moskow after this trip, cause then I'll have to go to my granny's place at Ukraine and stay there for a month. Awwsome. No computer for a month.. =_= So boring.

And theeeeen...! The two weeks trip (Belgium-Luxembourg-Netherlands-France) with my mom! Yay! I want to visit Disnayland one more time in my life, I'm such a child even now XD

Love you all, thanks for attention!

My best friends on DA